It’s possible to get butterflies while on the internet*

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In a fit of drunken lust/irresponsibility/boredom on Tuesday, I booked a one-way ticket to LA and here I am… in the sexy dojo once again. Where is the corporate, responsible Beth of a few months ago? Last time we saw her, she was buying pencil skirts from Banana Republic and analyzing powerpoints. Does anyone even remember her anymore? And what does one of my best friends, TF, think of this new Beth? How did one of my closest friends react to the situation, back when I announced my intentions to come here the first time? Is SO only charming on the internet? What are the top three most awkward things anyone has ever said to a wingwoman? Read on for all these answers from none other than the amazing and wonderful and hot and skinny… TF.

(*because Head Over Flats was taken, which I’d like to claim credit for making up. It is genius and nobody appreciated it!)

With Beth turning into a jet-setter overnight, it has been hard to find time to catch up with her recently. We planned to do dinner on Tuesday night and if any of you can remember, Tuesday was this beautiful 80-degree April day in New England – rare, I must say. I had to work all day, so I was craving sunshine by the time 5 p.m. rolled around. Beth picked me up from work and we went straight to a little Greek restaurant that we LOVE and just so happens to have outdoor seating. We sat outside with sunglasses in tow, and could not be happier. We drank a bottle of New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc wine — which I claim tastes exactly like Beth (it’s her favorite kind of wine and she always make everyone drink it) — gossiped for hours about our future careers and men, and ate delicious food.

I haven’t always been this supportive of Beth’s and SO’s relationship. Beth doesn’t have a track record for picking the most upstanding citizens to date (Beth will kill me for publishing this) and I was doubtful of her ability to identify a good guy from the internet, of all places. What if she was going to be stuck in LA with a Rugby-esque idiot? I needed her to be prepared for this possibility.

The whole announcement of her gchat/phone flirtations sort of took me by surprise so I shrugged it off until the day she told me she had booked a flight to LA. What? Who does that? I went over to her house the very next day to try and talk some sense into her, but the only piece of advice that seemed to stick was that I didn’t want her to expect things to be perfect the minute she stepped out of the plane. Beth likes to romanticize things if you didn’t already know. I think it’s from reading too many books.

Anyways, I was still really nervous for her, but decided to be supportive because I had never seen her this happy before. The night before she left for LA, I went over to her house to help her pack and distract her – talk about hearts in her eyes – and she hadn’t even met him yet! I was sitting at her computer as she was packing/doing laundry and we were listening to Taylor Swift (amazing) when SO sent Beth a gchat message. I saw my opportunity to get some first-hand knowledge of this guy, so I started talking to him online. Within his first two words, I was hooked. Butterflies in my stomach, hooked.

One highlight of my chat with SO was when he asked me about one of the more hilarious “Being Beth’s Wingwoman” stories he had heard. He wanted my firsthand account of what it was like to sit next to one of Beth’s more questionable love interest’s awkward friends (we’ll call him Awkward Willy) during a night of dinner/drinks last summer that has since turned into almost an urban legend among our friends.

TF: yeah, I sat next to Awkward Willy at dinner
SO@24: top 3 Awkward Willy lines.
1
2
3
GO
TF: ahhh I’m nervous!
okayyy –
TF: 1. I’m nervous ordering red meat
SO@24: HHAHAHAAH
TF: 2. I feel so cool right now
SO@24: …
TF: 3. What are those olives doing in your glass?
SO@24: no
no no no
TF: yes
yes yes yes

Obviously, I don’t actually have a crush on SO – I’m 4-years deep into my own, great relationship – but I could instantly tell why Beth was hopping on a plane to go see him. (I just hoped he didn’t have any friends like Awkward Willy.) And, ever sense I have been one of her biggest supporters!

I just hope he is as charming in person as he is online… I’ll know when I meet him. Soon. When he comes to the East Coast. Ahem SO. Ahem.

Xoxo,
TF

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Tags: Awkward Willy gets confused by martinis, i have questionable taste in men, i make my friends nervous, my friends are excellent, SO@24 is one charming motherfucker, TF stands for True Friend